Jun. 29th, 2011

Headaches

Jun. 29th, 2011 10:37 am
wooglethealien: (Default)
I'm on day 5 of a headache. I think I get these monster headaches about once every 2 months. They shift from Migraine to other types of headache and just as you've solved one they shift into another type. Migraines can be solved with triptans and some of the others can be dulled with anadin or codeine but nothing really works that well. Still, I still take pills anyway sometimes to feel like I'm doing something because people but their judgy face on when you say there's no point as the drugs won't do anything. They seem to assume you are just lazy and using the headache as an excuse. Towards the end of these multi-day ones I'm pretty sure they are rebound headaches from all the pills so at some point you have to man up and brave a day or 2 without drugs. I can't convey quite how depressing it is waking up with the exact same headache you went to bed with, with the prospect of having to live through a whole new work day (or day of dancing with annoyingly chirpy people) before any prospect of relief or rest. During the time I have them I zombie my way thorough doing the minimum possible at work to get by and soldier through my spare time and feel shit about everything and hate my life (more than usual).

I know some of you will be saying 'well go to the bloody doctor' because some people have lived a luckily simple life and had normal problems that are within the 10 conditions that GP can actually competently treat . . . . the last time I tried the very admission that some of my headaches are not migraines meant they tried to reduce my migraine prescription. I think there just aren't painkillers that will kill my pain that aren't basically narcotics that would render me unable to work anyway. Even the illegally strong codeine (its like 10x the legal UK OTC dose) from Thailand only dulls the pain and makes me a bit high so I don't care. Its doesn't actually remove the pain.

It doesn't help when assholes complain about their 'headache' that lasted all of 2 hours and was solved with one, ONE fucking paracetamol (called acetaminophen in some other countries). Fuck off. I hate that when other people ask for a painkiller that is usually a dose of 2 pills and then only take one. What the fuck am I supposed to do with one lone painkiller (except maybe take 3 in one go and hope I don't damage myself?)? Or people that get all judgy about the fact I'm taking codeine - until you've had my head for a few years you can fuck off

I don't know where this is leading . . I'm just depressed, angry and feel shit and needed a moan. Poor N could do with a break from hearing about it! It makes me not look forward to anything in life because all I can imagine is what a chore that particular event would be with a headache, I imagine my entire life though a headache lens.

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wooglethealien

August 2012

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