wooglethealien: (Default)
This afternoon I performed a clinically rigorous* study on the disgusting noises made by a clinician sitting at his desk in a shared office over a roughly 15 minute period from about quarter past 3 until my computer clock said 15:30.

Noises counted were

-Sniffing
-Snorting
-Clearing throat with vigour
-Other general mucousy noises tat polite considerate people try to minimise in public
-nonspecfic squelchy noises

Noises not counted were
- General Darth Vader style breathing
-Increased volume of breathing due to the strenuous effort of lifting coffee cup

Note: Subject is not currently suffering from a cold but suffers from the following g conditions which may be relevant

-Smoker
-Obese
-Thinks waking to fill the kettle up is 'exercise'

I counted the seconds between each incident, not including 2 periods where subject left the room

I then pasted my results into whatever stats package I had open on my computer

Here are the results in seconds

Number of values 32


Minimum 0.5000
25% Percentile 3.500
Median 11.50
75% Percentile 20.00
Maximum 180.0

Mean 19.02
Std. Deviation 32.52
Std. Error 5.749

Lower 95% CI of mean 7.290
Upper 95% CI of mean 30.74

One sample t test
Theoretical mean 1.000
Actual mean 19.02
Discrepancy -18.02
95% CI of discrepancy 6.288 to 29.74
t, df t=3.134 df=31
P value (two tailed) 0.0038
Significant (alpha=0.05)? Yes

Sum 608.5

You can ignore the t test, as it only shows that the mean wasn't 1 second, sadly you will see that these results are significant whilst my own data isn't today. As you can see the mean time between disgusting, stomach churning, noises was about 19 seconds. This is not out of the ordinary it just happens I am more aimless than usual today.

* n=1 is the sort of awesome statistics medics publish all the time,

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Seriously

I AM GOING TO STAB SOMEONE IN THE THROAT WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS
wooglethealien: (Default)
-Work mutherfuckers. Yeah, don't worry about my massive deadline and the fact that I'm working myself hard to the point people can see it in my eyes, I'll take on all the duties of the guy that is off instead of us sharing them. You can all fuck off. Was tempted to sneeze in the sterile serum i was aliquoting out for the lab . . that would serve them right.

-No I am really working form home becuase I have a day of data analysis and writing planned. Why? Becuase I feel like shit (maybe have given myself an ulcer?) and I hate you all and your fucking obese smokers snorty coughy noises (and could you perhaps not sneeze in the direction of my tea mug?) and your sitting around talking shit in the office instead helping with the 'communal' things. Its nice and peaceful and cunto free in my flat.

-When its not snorty cough sniff do I have to be followed by other people's shit music at loud volumes? There is a reason I have an mp3 player. It's manners. I actually used to like Muse. I can't stand Manu Chao because every european i ever met insists on playing that one damn album with the stupid sound effects about 15 times a day.

-Killing myself (and constantly risking serisouly pissing my boss off by leaving early) to get to rehearsal on time (after being semi guilt tripped into agreeing to 6pm starts) only for everyone else to be consistantly 15 min late and then fuck about doing a stupid 'warm up' consisting of about 20 types cold leg stretches (some with bouncing!) . . .leaving my torso still distinctly cold and stiff.

-On that note, I am busy and stressed too, but i just get on with it instead of making excuses and sob stories (LJ excepted!)

-By the way, Tamiflu only blocks the spreak of virus round the body so its only works early only on during the infection, but don't let stop the idiot medics or hypochondriacs

-Fucking idiot fucking medics. Am seriosuly tempted to get my malaria etc medications for my upcoming trip online on a dubious website as it seems all the travel -clinic competance in the entire UK is in one hospital in Edinburgh (big up the Western General!). Sadly I now live in useless London. Also, yes I have tried FUCKING ASPIRIN before for the migraines I've been having for over 10 years.

-and Oh yeah, god forbid if someone who looks after themselves and as an actual job ever actually wants to see a doctor. We can all fuck off, sorry the NHS is for chavs, grannies and annoying overly paranoid young 'mommies' only!

-oh yeah I know its all very trendy to pretend to be so fucking lefty blah blah blah, but really, the NHS is shit. Yes, its probably better than the US system (although I'm not entirely convinced I wouldn't do better there), but let's not pretend its the most fucking amazing thing ever. Its British. Its worn out and mediocre just like everything else.

-People that shake their head at you judgementally like you just raped a child if you make a stupid but minor mistake on the road (like misjudging and getting stuck blocking a junction in heavy traffic).

-Fucking HSBC and their fucking paranoid credit card fraud squad. Should I phone you in advance if I want to fart?

Fucking BMI website has ruined my evening and feel too pissed off to do anything productive with my rare evening off now. Now I've just sat about being lazy and had a muffin so I feel bloated and miserable.

Can you tell its that time of the month and I'm overtired?

Fuck off
wooglethealien: (Default)
N went to the doctor for a Hep A booster and while he was there asked about Vietnam. They told him he needed to cough up £45 for a Yellow Fever vaccine but sent him to some expensice private travel place for Rabies vaccine (makes no sense as Rabies is more widespread than Yellow Fever). Um, dudes, Yellow Fever only exists in AFrica and South America, and anywhere else only requires evidence of the vaccine if you have come from an affected country. N has never left Europe, unless you count the Asian bit of Turkey. So the GP practice is either incompetant or just trying to exploit his travel naivete to milk some cash. I got very angry, this comes off the back of a conversation with my Mum at the weekend about something my little sister (a damn medic) said which proves my point about doctors totally refusing to believe what a patient says vs what their bits of paper written by the drug company says (seriously, it seem to me that drug companies, pharmacists and nurses do all the actualy useful parts).

Thankfully they told him to come back 6-8 weeks before we go and didn't arm and wallet rape him on the spot - I have already found him a hopefully competent (and more affordable) travel clinic at the tropical disease hospital walkable from where he works.
wooglethealien: (Default)
This morning I went to the doctor about that weird shit that went down during my last period (and in January). The visit went pretty much as I expected. I had even written myself a prompt card to try and avoid it getting sidetracked/dismissed. Ha!

I explained the main points - 24 hours only, always on the last day, sometimes just stomach cramps, sometimes entire torso below ribs. I can’t remember the question but I mentioned I do take aspirin for the headaches sometimes, note, SOMETIMES. She seemed to just hear ‘stomach cramps’ and ‘aspirin’ and told me that aspirin irritates the stomach. Well, duh, I can find that out via google, most people are aware of that. She ignored my question of whether my period would make me more sensitive as I don’t react badly to aspirin other times of the month. She prodded my tummy a few times (I guess to check for intestinal problems, but I had a curry last night, no danger of any blockage there!!). She kind if ignored it when I asked if extra acid in my stomach would really make my whole intestines hurt. She had a weird patronising smile the entire time and couldn’t wait to get rid of me with the amazing advice ‘take paracetamol instead’. Well, I’m glad I didn’t take time of work for that.

I guess I will take all the measures I have worked out for myself no aspirin and no spicy food etc and see what happens. If I get it bad again I will try and get an appointment that day, no matter how excruciating walking there will be. But, given what its like to get appointments at my surgery I don’t hold our much hope.

She was happy to give me a list of drugs (painkillers and anti acid things) but not think about it at all or even explain to me exactly the mechanisms she thinks is causing this. Medics scare me. I’ve seen my little sister go from normal sensible person to drug crazy fact/latin word vomiting person who refuses to engage her actual brain (with accompanying god complex). Its all fodder for my ever plummeting opinion of medics. I would say its just GPs that get too comfy with cushy working hours and mostly dealing with run of the mill children/elderly problems, but you would not believe the things the clinical oncologist at work cannot think through/do. But that’s a rant for another day.

My boss says she has a friend who is a gynaecologist who I could talk to, I may have to do that even if its probably nothing. I may do that. My boss told me off for trying to work through it for myself as ‘I’m not a medic’ but um . . I actually have common sense, logic, and a degree in biology, two of which are missing from most medics I meet.

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wooglethealien

August 2012

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